track 2, “the vegetable song”
This is a story about a girl named Vegetable Song.
Is it a coincidence that the produced version of this song is sort of kind of totally reminiscent of Veggie Tales? (Not to blast my own horn…) With a tuba solo to boot?
Yes, it is a total coincidence. If you know you know.
This birth of this song is a fascinating one. It was three summers ago, I was still very knee deep in my being stoned every day because why not phase.
I was sitting on my couch thinking quite literally about how I wasn’t eating enough vegetables. So I picked up the guitar and the first words out of my mouth were “I’m going to force myself to eat all of my vegetables”
And so it was born. I got a little jingle riff going and kept repeating it, so I wouldn’t forget.
For some reason I wound up on a walk with two friends, I think one of them was walking my dog, not me, I wasn’t walking my dog, for I was walking around Trout Lake with my guitar, strapless, balancing it on my knee, absolutely stuck in the flow that enraptures you fully if you let it.
The song kept coming out and I kept letting it. My friends were nothing but encouraging , interrupting every so often to confirm, you’re just making this up right now?
It fascinates me, the sorts of songs that come about when writing on the guitar vs the piano. To be fair, I only know 4 chords on the guitar so — it’s limited. It’s repetitive. And it’s catchy.
“I’m gonna force myself to eat all of my vegetables, I’m gonna tell myself to do whatever I am told. I’m gonna submit myself to a good authority, be it a church, a coven, cult, or just a majority.”
It had quickly grown beyond a nutritional discipline…
At the time, I was experiementing with alot of world views. Views that didn’t include God, or did, but was okay to call it The Source, the Ocean, anything but the word God…I was entertaining the idea that maybe cults were just as impactful as a congregation, maybe community was really all that mattered, less so the Diety you claim to worship…
It was all nuance, all the time, living in that intangible idea, asking questions that had no answers. It felt ‘cool’ but not ‘great’.
However: I knew deep down…
I was sick of my freedom- sick of the lack of structure in my life. I was craving guidelines, ramifications, punishment for bad behaviour- I wanted someone in Charge of me, if you boil it down, yes, I was missing God, and God appointed figures- mentors, elders, pastors, spiritual directors-
“Give me order, give me structure, give me hard no’s. Lower barriers, don’t lower the bar though- will I ever be the same again? God knows. And we don’t really talk to him- hard no?”
HARD
Cue the call & response.
When I first wrote that line, it was, indeed, an anarchist, Fight Club cry.
We are God’s unwanted children? So be it. — Tyler Durden.
As it evolved (as I calmed down) over the years- this phrase turned into a more tongue and cheek critique on how we, society, have turned away from God. We don’t really talk to him, do we…No. We don’t. Because we no longer need Him.
It became less of a war cry and more a prophetic commentary to I’m sure not a lot of people care to hear. Or even rationally discuss. Thank you secularism, thank you disillusionment.
Thank you silence.
As we kept circling the lake, I played with new ideas, my friends all too happy to participate. When I say hard no, you say hard no! Hard no?
HARD NO!
I quickly branded this the anti-punk song. Instead of anarchy, I was calling for order- I’ll trade you all of this chaos, for some forced compliance. Tell me what to do- and I’ll do it. I had very little rules in my life and I was realizing I needed them.
Craving someone else to do the rule making and enforcing, was this me being lazy and not wanting to be accountable for my life? Yeah, sure, moving on.
“Rules! What are the rules? I think that I lost myself for a minute, but I’m back again- give me some rules. I needed to walk outside and get messed up in it.”
Transcend and include- remember your training! I’ve always been someone who knew the fire was hot, but I wanted to touch it.
There’s no time to regret the choices made and the turns taken.
I’ve taken my turn.
Will I ever be the same again? God knows. I ask him everyday and he says hard no…
There’s no time machine, no returning to who you once were, no ‘going home’. But we can turn- maybe not back, but towards- what we know to be good, to be truth — it’s not too late to start eating your vegetables.
I am slowly turning toward; back to a life of intentional order, structure, hard no’s. To submission to a congregation, a Way, back to God.
Parenting myself as I prepare to parent.
Is this song quite literally all over the place thematically, representative of vastly different worldviews and value systems that I’ve shifted in and out of over the past three years? Yes! Anything wrong with that?
Hard no.
If you are also realizing that your freedom could use some parameters, that your anarchy could use some ordering, that your anger at the Organized has circled back and softly landed- Vegetable Song could be your anthem.
